BY: KATE SLOAN
Human beings have been having sex since the dawn of time, but it’s still an occasion worth dressing up for. At least, that’s what sex toy company Lelo thinks. This month they launched “TUX™,” a miniature tuxedo that’s meant to be worn on the penis.
The tux is made of satin weave, and features a white placket, black bowtie, and tiny artificial red rose. At $30, it’s one of the cheapest items in the Lelo catalogue. To keep it from slipping off, it has a stretchy band that slides around the back of the “male undercarriage.” Though Lelo’s website describes the tux as “one-size-fits-all,” it measures five inches long, meaning that penises shorter than that will appear headless while wearing this suit. That’s certainly one way to make an impression.
This month sex toy company Lelo launched “TUX™,” a miniature tuxedo that’s meant to be worn on the penis.
Sex toy blogger Lilly, of DangerousLilly.com, considered the product’s washing instructions the weirdest thing about it. “A dry-clean-only dick tux? Is this a joke? This has to be a joke,” she said in an email. One wonders what a dry cleaners’ employee would say if a customer brought in a piece of penile finery to be washed.
This tux follows in a line of progressively odder product releases from Lelo over the past few years. In late 2014 they released Pino, a vibrating cock ring marketed specifically toward male bankers. The ring comes packaged with a set of cufflinks and a money clip with the slogan “Always Be Closing” engraved on it. “In the male-dominated, testosterone-drenched context of banking, [sex is] an obsession,” the company’s press release about Pino’s launch said. “Bankers are both proud of their sex lives but also want to make sure they’re doing it right. Pino is kind of an external consultant in that respect.”
Lelo’s collection also includes silk bondage gear, remote-controlled rotating vaginal beads, and a 24-karat gold plated vibrator that will set you back a mere $15,000. The company targets a consumer demographic of extravagantly wealthy connoisseurs who want the finest sex toys available, but Lilly says Lelo is missing the mark. “They no longer make products that get consistently good reviews,” she explained, “[so] their aim is to do ridiculous shit.” In the absence of solidly performing toys at reasonable price points, the company tries instead to pad their bottom line through marketing ploys and appealing to the one per cent.
Lelo’s collection also includes silk bondage gear, remote-controlled rotating vaginal beads, and a 24-karat gold plated vibrator that will set you back a mere $15,000.
“[The tux is] so out of left field for Lelo,” Lilly added. “They’re usually very serious. Even their April Fools’ Day pranks have been just serious enough to be possible.” In the past, Lelo has been known to launch joke products for April Fools’ Day – in 2013, they announced the impending release of an eco-friendly vibrator called GӒSM which was to charge via hand-crank, be made of recycled materials, and require self-assembly à la Ikea furniture. Sometimes these campaigns go live weeks before April 1 actually arrives, but January seems too early, even by Lelo’s standards, Lilly said.
In any case, the Lelo Tux might be a worthwhile buy if you’ve ever dreamed of adorning your dick in formalwear… which, let’s face it, you probably haven’t.
Image sourcing: lelo.com, corbisimages.com
